By now, you all know that I essentially torpedoed this site for a number of reasons.
1. I was doing too much.
2. I was doing too much.
3. Doing this to Brooks seemed kinda creepy and stalkeriffic.
So I turned my attentions to my sports-blogging gigs and gave up WbB. I now go under the Twitter name @Hollabucks and many of you follow me there. This is how I came back from lunch today, after Tweeting about Charles Eric Waugh’s arrest today:
TrollGaze2k12
For all the lulz.
So, the outpouring of support from Twitter has led me to rethink some things.
No, I will not be continuing on a full time basis with this blog/Twitter.
However, if you are interested in keeping the ideal alive, please let me know.
A while back I inquired about some people coming on to help me out with this thing. A couple were interested. However, I am going to take this a step further.
If you want to write for WbB, please send me an email at wartsbybrooks@yahoo.com.
Duties would include, but are not limited to: ridiculing Brooks on Twitter and this blog. That’s it.
Shoot me an email or DM on Twitter and we’ll talk.
Tata for now.
~Chris
As I have just announced on Twitter, I will be suspending this website starting March 15th, 2012. Many thanks to all of you who read the blog and supported my efforts to expose and ridicule Brooks on a semi-regular basis. You are all the reason that I continued this blog past a few days. This originally started on a lark way back last year when I came to realization that 90% of the stuff that Brooks posted or tweeted about was just flat out wrong.
But now it is time for me to go my own way (copyright 1977, Fleetwood Mac).
Some of you may know that I was blogging about Ohio State sports for a website called BlockONation.com. After the football season, I moved over to OurHonorDefend.com, where I have been writing since November. The fine folks over at OHD gave me a great opportunity to have my stuff read, and allowed me a forum in which to hone my craft. For that I am truly grateful.
But as with this blog, all good things must come to an end. I am moving on from OHD and becoming 1/2 of the blogging team at UnScriptedOhio, a Rivals.com blog. We will provide all the content you have come to expect from a sports blog, covered in a haze of Scarlet and Gray. Both Jeremy Birmingham (formerly of ElevenWarriors.com) and myself would love to have you over to the new place. We just got new furniture and the window coverings are going up today. We’re pretty proud of the place.
Once we launch, I will tweet out the URL for anyone interested in stopping by for our particular blend of Ohio State news.
Until that time, stay vigilant in the fight against Brooks Melchior, Super Evil Genius.
~Chris Holloway
Editor’s Note: It appears that Melanie has quit her job with Brooks, but has handed the diary over to her successor, Britney. This entry was her first day on the job as Brooks’ (fake) personal assistant. Riveting stuff.
Dear Diary,
First day on the job! Yay me! I have no idea why Melanie left, but I can only assume that Brooks got her that job. He’s promised me one as well. He’s got so many connections. Not getting paid much to start, but I get to meet a ton of new people, all in the broadcasting arena in one way or another. Take these two ladies for example:
Amanda and Hillary
Amanda told me that she works in radio and Hillary says that she works for a call in show. They say that they both got their starts from Brooks, and could not be happier.
Update: Found out that Amanda works in radio in the same fashion that a stripper works in the beverage industry. Hillary certainly does work for a call in show. It’s called “Sexy Talk with Hillary.” Wish I would have known this 6 months ago.
First job is a remote appearance by Brooks in a sports bar called “Mickey’s House of Drink.” It’s not as classy as the name implies. There was a 2 inch sheet of peanut shells on the floor, and not for ambiance. There was a jukebox, but it only played Patsy Cline songs. Seriously? Country in the middle of Los Angeles? This isn’t Stockton, people. The appearance went well until Brooks decided to get a little inappropriate with the “waitress.” I didn’t see the whole episode, all I heard was a loud smack and turned to see Brooks holding his right cheek. We left shortly thereafter and have not been invited back since.
Next up is an appearance at Iggy’s Tow and Stor. I have no idea what a towyard has to do with sports or media in general, but I just go where I’m told.
-Britney
Another entry from Melanie. This one was apparently written just after Brooks made a radio appearance.
Hope that SbB checked these girls' IDs. Of course, we know he has a thing for 17 year old girls.
Dear Diary,
Brooks just got done talking on KNBR to Damon Bruce. Good god, just listening to the exchange made my blood curdle. Bruce fellates Brooks like they were in the same fraternity at Georgia. Of course, Brooks never does anything unless there is something in it for him. This time it was a chance to talk about Simona Halep’s breast reduction. Brooks has gone on and on and on for weeks about how it’s a travesty that this “hottie” is getting her chesticles downsized. She’s 17 years old for pete’s sake. That’s creepy, even for Brooks.
Got an offer from a lawyer operating out of the Virgin Islands today. Not sure how to take it. He said something about his beard getting it done. Is that a euphemism for something sexual? He certainly looks creepy enough. Told him no thanks, even though it means that I have to head back to that god awful office in the strip mall and go through mountains of “candid” photos that Brooks took last night at Jim’s Drink and Run. I swear, some of these girls he gets look like their ready to head into the valley for their true calling.
There were these three last night that looked like they were 16-19. Brooks is a 40 year old man. I guess it’s all he gets though, as I know that he hasn’t had a date in over three years, since I started working for him. He says it’s because he hasn’t found the right woman yet, but I know it’s because any decent woman wouldn’t put up with his philandering for long enough to start a relationship. Ugh, he’s so sleazy.
All for now.
Hello everyone, and welcome to the second day of the SbB Girls Diary. We’re going to move into a new direction here, as I’ve recently come upon an actual (n0t) diary that was written by Brooks’ Assistant Melanie during his SbB Girls days. Below are her thoughts that are accompanied by an appropriate picture.
Tanya and Kitty
February 19th, 2002:
Dear Diary,
It’s my third week working for Brooks, and already I’ve been hit on by more rednecks and bikers than you can imagine, not to mention Brooks himself. Such a sleazeball, if you ask me, but I need the experience. As soon as I can get an interview, I am sooo outta here. Anyway, the picture I’ve added here shows two girls that I think are completely vacuous and airheaded. Tanya (the one in the front) told me just before this picture was taken that Brooks promised to take her to Hawaii for a full on photoshoot. Kitty (the one in the back), upon overhearing this, jumped up and down and clapped her hands like a seal, much to the enjoyment of the dirty men in the dive bar we were at.
What these girls don’t know is that the shirts that they are wearing are hand me downs. Brooks has been using them in his shoots for years now, which is why they have that baconing at the bottom. See, Brooks thinks he can entice these women to come and hang out with him at seedy dive bars with nothing but promises and a $10 gift card to Dave & Busters. All too often, I field the calls from the women, angry that they take their gift card in only to be told that there is no balance on them. I feel bad for them, but I know that Brooks goes into D&B and grabs a handful of gift cards, but never loads any money onto them. God I hate him so much. If he tries to touch my ass one more time, I’m going to kick him in the crotchal region.
That’s all for now, Diary.
Mel
Remember, this is comedy. Or it is intended to be.
Girl on left (we’ll call her “Diamond”): “I can’t believe I was only paid $50 to be here.”
Girl on right (“Ivory”): “All I got was a promise of a modeling job.”
I’ve been doing this thing for the better part of four months now, and unless you’ve connected the dots between here and my work on OurHonorDefend.com or BlockONation.com, you don’t know much about me. This article is my one and only “human interest” piece. I sat down with myself and interviewed a very dashing gentleman. I was a great interviewer as well as forthcoming interviewee. I have to say that while the interviewer asked some questions that made me uncomfortable, I answered them all the same, without any mention of games designed for those ages 7 and up.
